Down Key

There are moments where I just sit at my computer looking at images of her.

From when I first held her in my arms.

She gets older as I continue to view the endless snapshots.

There’s also videos of her.

Her giggle hasnt changed.

Hours pass as I stare at the screen. As if she’s gone.
The only thing that’s gone is the time that wont return.

She’s growing up. And all I can do is hit the down key.

HUG A HULK

Is your child acting up?

Are you about to lose your shite?

If so

Be the bigger person.

Be kind,

And

Remain being the adult in the situation at all times.

First things first;

NO SPANKING

NO SHOUTING

Be cool and in control for most of the time anyway.

(I say most, because somedays we lose our shit, that’s okay, we are only chimps after all)

Why though?

If shit hits the fan with you and your child, which it will. They will test you beyond belief.

And if you lose your cool – the road to recovery can be a long journey to get back to the main road. So stay neutral.

Your child needs someone who they can come to when feelings beyond there comprehension are abundant.

HUG A HULK

For those who don’t know who the Hulk is, firstly where have you been hiding? Have you been locked away in the basement or living the Amish way of life?

The Hulk, scientist Dr. Bruce Banner is an all round nice chap.

However, as soon as Banner becomes a little aggravated, a red mist descends upon this passive fellow and he transcends into one giant green meathead son of a bitch.

Your child is just like Banner.

Like Banner who’s superpower is fuelled by his uncontrollable rage.

Your lil legs will be happy until their uncontrollable laying dormant feelings erupt.

So how can we help?

Whilst being empathetic hug your over emotional Hulk.

Show your child that you love them, it doesnt have to be in some tree hugging hippy fucktarded way.

This will convey to your lil amigo that not only do you give a shit, but you’re their anchor in this chaotic fucked thing we call life.

After all you’re their safe space. Their light house to help navigate them and to keep them on track.

If you don’t help them, not only to become social, mannered and masters of their own feelings, then they will only turn into feral meanders.

FATHERS MATTER OR DO THEY?

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Of course Fathers matter.

However, society and the way in which the world operates, it conditions ol’ Pops to think his main purpose in life is to pull himself away from his family, feel unwanted and become just another number in the machines economic grind.

Well Daddy-o. As Bob Dylan once crankily sang “The times… they’re a changin”.
Forget what you’ve been taught. Your main responsibility is to be the best Father you never had and be just that to your little amigo.

I’m already doing a better job than my Dad ever did. I mean, after the first two weeks when my lil lass was born, I’d held Tilly more than he had ever held me.

He only went to the shop for a loaf of bread, and has never been seen again. Cheers Dad – see ya, mate.

“The nurturing abilities of fathers are seldom acknowledged, and even more rarely encouraged.” ~ Lawerence J. Cohen

Anyways, back to it.

To be totally honest, as strange as it may sound. I should thank my ex for calling it when we did. It makes me appreciate the time I have with my lil amigo.

I look after Tilly, unaided away from the comfort of her Mother as a safety net. It made me roll up my metaphorical sleeves and become more of an attentive, hands on Father.

You see, when the Lil lady was born, I assumed her Mother would know the ins, outs and the how-tos when raising a child. Come on, don’t judge, men ain’t trained for this shit.

Fuck my life how I was thrown arse first into the thunderdome. I wish now that I had read more of those parenting books.

Being a part time parent really put my shit into perspective. Making me realise of the possible damaging implications that it could cause to my Lil lass if I wasn’t about.

My Dad not being there over time to help muck in, well it fucked me up. But we’ll leave that for another blog, maybe.

Dads you need to be there, not only as someone who brings home the bacon, but gets down and hangs out, to be silly, who roughhouses, to play, who wrestles, who paints, draws, sings, dances, reads, be there to listen, to protect, to comfort, to offer advice, to teach, to guide, y’know – Parent.

What I’m getting at here is I think Men in general when it comes to parenting, leave the nurturing side to Mama, and take a step back. But in doing this we miss out.

So don’t take a step back, stay committed and keep the connection with your child.

Remember guys, you are a parent too!

And your child needs you. why should Mum have all of the fun?

SEPARATED PARENTING. DON’T GIVE YOUR KID THE SCRAPS.

 

Many children nowadays are raised in an environment in which their parents have called it a day and have decided to separate. In most cases they just get on with the task at hand and work together to raise their child without any qualms.

However, this isn’t always the case. Some parents you come across are complete shitheads and become too concerned about the battle than the main issue at hand; raising their child.

I myself separated from my lil lass’s mother. Now, me and her mother do get on fine. And that’s what makes “Co-parenting” work. We get on. For the sake and the well being of our daughter. But isn’t that the point?

You both have to focus on working to raise that lil amigo – at the least harmoniously.

Resist being at each other’s throats, acting ape like – throwing your own shite at each other, pointing fingers and constantly hurling abuse. Just realise who the main casualty will end up in all of this – you guessed it, your child.

So what can you do…

AGREE

At least agree on one thing, that is to be civil. Get along for the sake of your child.

Now, the key to this situation is simple. If the pair of you have any squabbles, fucked up emotions or animosity towards each other – put that shit aside, out of sight, forget about it, it’s gone. After all, you’re meant to be the grown ups.

Your child is more important than your unresolved shit. Get your crap in order.

Time is running out

When working together as co-parents or if you’re still cohabiting with your baby’s mother/father. Understand, the older your child gets, the less time you will have, especially with the usual crap getting in the way, you know the inconveniences that will pop up. Such as work, school and not to mention, life. Your time with your child will become more precious.

So make sure when you’re parenting, it’s of the highest quality. Its what they deserve. They deserve the best parts of you. Not the scraps.