Meaning of Ash

We were having drinks.
As the whisky flowed we’d waffle on.
The more intoxicated we became the conversation turned philosophical.

She asked me “What are you most proud of?”

I was stunned.
I had nothing.
Of course the birth of my daughter.
But I had nothing.
Perhaps being a full-time slacker?

Bear Grylls had climbed Mount Everest at 20 something.
At 30 I had achieved zilch, diddly squat, jack effin’shit.

I couldn’t drive.
Still working the same old job, which I resented.
No career.
No skills.
No hobby.
Just your everyday plodder.

Realisation is a bitch.
It was my life.
I was wasting it by the second and only I could do anything about it.

Within a month I passed my driving test.
Quit my job, made sure I had a new one lined up first – priorities.
Began typing.
Became more of an attentive father.
Learning whatever I wanted to now became an obsession.

I want the most out of my life.
That’s what the “meaning of life” is to me – I’m all in, and I’m going to experience the fucking lot.

HUG A HULK

Is your child acting up?

Are you about to lose your shite?

If so

Be the bigger person.

Be kind,

And

Remain being the adult in the situation at all times.

First things first;

NO SPANKING

NO SHOUTING

Be cool and in control for most of the time anyway.

(I say most, because somedays we lose our shit, that’s okay, we are only chimps after all)

Why though?

If shit hits the fan with you and your child, which it will. They will test you beyond belief.

And if you lose your cool – the road to recovery can be a long journey to get back to the main road. So stay neutral.

Your child needs someone who they can come to when feelings beyond there comprehension are abundant.

HUG A HULK

For those who don’t know who the Hulk is, firstly where have you been hiding? Have you been locked away in the basement or living the Amish way of life?

The Hulk, scientist Dr. Bruce Banner is an all round nice chap.

However, as soon as Banner becomes a little aggravated, a red mist descends upon this passive fellow and he transcends into one giant green meathead son of a bitch.

Your child is just like Banner.

Like Banner who’s superpower is fuelled by his uncontrollable rage.

Your lil legs will be happy until their uncontrollable laying dormant feelings erupt.

So how can we help?

Whilst being empathetic hug your over emotional Hulk.

Show your child that you love them, it doesnt have to be in some tree hugging hippy fucktarded way.

This will convey to your lil amigo that not only do you give a shit, but you’re their anchor in this chaotic fucked thing we call life.

After all you’re their safe space. Their light house to help navigate them and to keep them on track.

If you don’t help them, not only to become social, mannered and masters of their own feelings, then they will only turn into feral meanders.

SEPARATED PARENTING. DON’T GIVE YOUR KID THE SCRAPS.

 

Many children nowadays are raised in an environment in which their parents have called it a day and have decided to separate. In most cases they just get on with the task at hand and work together to raise their child without any qualms.

However, this isn’t always the case. Some parents you come across are complete shitheads and become too concerned about the battle than the main issue at hand; raising their child.

I myself separated from my lil lass’s mother. Now, me and her mother do get on fine. And that’s what makes “Co-parenting” work. We get on. For the sake and the well being of our daughter. But isn’t that the point?

You both have to focus on working to raise that lil amigo – at the least harmoniously.

Resist being at each other’s throats, acting ape like – throwing your own shite at each other, pointing fingers and constantly hurling abuse. Just realise who the main casualty will end up in all of this – you guessed it, your child.

So what can you do…

AGREE

At least agree on one thing, that is to be civil. Get along for the sake of your child.

Now, the key to this situation is simple. If the pair of you have any squabbles, fucked up emotions or animosity towards each other – put that shit aside, out of sight, forget about it, it’s gone. After all, you’re meant to be the grown ups.

Your child is more important than your unresolved shit. Get your crap in order.

Time is running out

When working together as co-parents or if you’re still cohabiting with your baby’s mother/father. Understand, the older your child gets, the less time you will have, especially with the usual crap getting in the way, you know the inconveniences that will pop up. Such as work, school and not to mention, life. Your time with your child will become more precious.

So make sure when you’re parenting, it’s of the highest quality. Its what they deserve. They deserve the best parts of you. Not the scraps.

HANDLE YOUR SHIT

 

Your first responsibility as a parent is becoming aware of your own inner shit – you can achieve this by mindfulness.

Becoming more mindful will not only help you become aware of what you’re feeling, but you won’t act on these negative feelings that are constantly shoving you closer to the fucking edge.

Children have this ability to show us unresolved issues from our childhood. This will not only make you more patient, empathetic, compassionate not to mention selfless. But, it’ll push you to be the best parent you should be.

A child’s needs must come before their parents.

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TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR SHIT NOW!
For you, your family and child’s sake.
What happened in the past has been and gone, the emotional scars may still be there, however as long as you remain mindful, aware and stay in the moment with your child your unresolved baggage will be of no concern.
Allowing you to put all of your effort into becoming the best guide/coach/parent that your child truly deserves.